As coaches, we often assume that clients come to us primarily to achieve their goals, enhance their personal growth, improve relationships, or manage stress and burnout. These are often driven mainly by \u00ab\u00a0Toward Motivation\u00a0\u00bb\u2014the desire to move forward, develop new skills, and reach what they truly want, as opposed to \u00ab\u00a0Away From Motivation,\u00a0\u00bb which focuses on avoiding or fixing issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But is goal achievement all that clients really seek?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One important distinction between therapy and coaching<\/strong> is how each is perceived: therapy is often seen as a way to address and resolve issues, while coaching is viewed as a path toward future-focused goal achievement. In simple terms, it\u2019s solving problems versus achieving outcomes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yet, in the real world of coaching, helping clients achieve their goals often involves addressing underlying psychological barriers<\/strong> such as insecurities, overwhelm, or trauma, as well as external challenges like work stress or negative life events. This is why mastering problem-solving techniques is crucial\u2014not just for therapists, but for coaches too. By clearing these hurdles, we can empower clients to truly live the lives they aspire to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In this article, I\u2019m excited to share three advanced problem-solving techniques<\/strong> that can transform your coaching practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the three key techniques is based on the work of Connirae Andreas, specifically her insights on verb tenses from her audio program \u00ab\u00a0Advanced Language Patterns\u00a0\u00bb\u2014a resource I highly recommend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As coaches, we’ve all encountered clients who are so entrenched in negativity that they struggle to even consider their future goals<\/strong>. They may say they want to move forward, but their past problems are holding them back. Connirae Andreas\u2019 technique is designed to help clients break free from this past-oriented thinking, creating a clear mental space where new goals and outcomes can flourish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a coach, one of the most impactful skills you can develop is guiding your clients from only problem-focused thinking to a goal-oriented mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here is Connirae\u2019s powerful technique to help you do just that, ensuring your clients are ready to embrace the future they desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Step 1: Listen Attentively and Without Interrupting<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Start by giving your full attention to your client’s concerns. Listen carefully without interrupting. This shows respect and helps you fully understand their situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Step 2: Summarize their Key Points in the Immediate Past<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n When they pause in the conversation, summarize the key points they\u2019ve shared, but phrase them in the immediate past tense. This subtle shift helps them begin to move beyond the issue. Step 3: Test Their Readiness to Move Forward<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, test whether they\u2019re ready to shift to a more positive, outcome-focused frame of mind. These questions help them start thinking in a Toward frame of mind, focusing on what they want to achieve rather than what they want to avoid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Example:<\/strong> This simple, yet effective technique helps your clients get ready to move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a coach, you\u2019ll often encounter clients who are skeptical<\/strong>\u2014people who find it hard to embrace an optimistic outlook or believe that your suggestions will work for them. These clients might feel that change is impossible under their current circumstances. To help them move forward, they first need to leave their skepticism behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I developed this powerful 3-2-1 technique to meet them at their bus stop, in their negativity, and then create a segue toward a more positive, outcome-oriented mindset. Surprisingly, this method, which ends with a reassurance that echoes their initial doubts, can effectively pull them out of a negative spiral and toward actionable goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s how the 3-2-1 Formula works:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Start with Three Examples<\/u> of Their Issues Using \u201cAway From\u201d Language<\/strong> 2. Create a Segue to the Next Step<\/strong> 3. Present two examples<\/u> of outcomes they could aim for<\/strong> Using \u201cToward\u201d Language<\/strong> 4. End with One Example<\/u> of Something They Want to Avoid<\/strong> Example<\/strong>: (each step from above is underlined below)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Coach: \u00ab\u00a0You want to get away from this issue<\/span>, make sure it doesn\u2019t bother you again<\/span>, and not have to pay so much attention to it<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s why<\/span> I suggest that you figure out some goals<\/span> that you really want to reach<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So you won\u2019t have to deal with this<\/span> anymore.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3 Away From This method may require some practice, but it can be especially useful when you notice your client is resistant to creating an outcome. Encourage them to express their skepticism clearly, as this gives you the insight you need to craft a personalized 3-2-1 response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Context Painting is a powerful technique we developed during the LAB Profile\u00ae Consultant\/Trainer\/Coach certification process, inspired by Bill Huckabee\u2019s genius in focus group facilitation. This method is excellent for helping clients create their own solutions, and it\u2019s particularly effective in understanding how customers make decisions about purchasing products or services.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I often use this instead of the classic NLP Anchoring Technique. It allows you to grasp the entire decision-making process, understand how someone creates positive states in themselves and others, and ultimately achieve their desired outcomes\u2014all without taking notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The technique consists mainly of making statements with a question mark<\/strong> in your tone, about where, when, with whom and an action<\/strong> to help your client \u201cpaint their context\u201d. It serves as a form of verbal anchoring, transporting the client back into the environment where key events occurred, enabling them to access deeper insights and details about the situation. Often you can just guess about the where, when etc., and the person will correct you and fill in the blanks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Technique:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Start by asking about their goal or what\u2019s important to them<\/strong> 2. Make more statements than questions, using the present tense<\/strong> 3. Apologize when you have to ask questions<\/strong> 4. Feedback<\/em> what you hear to move forward<\/strong> Sample Dialogue:<\/strong> This technique, while it may look a little weird, written down as above, can be a natural way to enable clients to access new perspectives by entering the context in the here and now. It\u2019s also a great way to get your kids to tell you what happened at school today<\/strong>. \u201cSo you\u2019re sitting in front of Max when you\u2019re doing fractions?\u201d \u201cNo, we are at round desks for fractions and I got most of them right.\u201d\ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n By mastering these and other advanced techniques, you can enhance your coaching practice, by helping clients overcome the obstacles to reaching their goals and truly transform their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shelle Rose Charvet<\/span> <\/a>is well known for her book Words That Change Minds<\/em><\/strong>, now available in 20 languages and her advanced work using the Language and Behaviour Profile. In August 2025, she will be offering her LAB Profile\u00ae Consultant\/Trainer\/Coach certification program live online. Currently over 900 people from 35 countries have been certified. For more information about this program, please visit www.labprofilecertification.com<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n You can find Connirae Andreas\u2019 \u201cAdvanced Language Patterns\u201d audio program at: https:\/\/www.andreasnlp.com\/store\/nlp-audio\/advanced-language-patterns\/<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\nCreating Mental Space: How to Unstick Clients and Help Them Toward Positive Outcomes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Use their exact words and make it a statement that invites confirmation.
For example:
Client: \u201cIt\u2019s so annoying that they always delay things! \u201c
Coach: \u201cYou: \u201cSo you have been really annoyed when they’ve delayed things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To do this, ask: \u201cIs that right?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
– \u201cWhat is important to you now?\u201d
– \u201cHow would you like this situation to be?\u201d
– \u201cWhat is your goal?\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Coach: \u00ab\u00a0And you also have been feeling that it wasn\u2019t fair. Is that right?\u201d
Client: \u201cIt\u2019s totally not fair. No one else gets criticized in front of the group.\u201d
Coach: \u201cNo one else has been criticized in front of the group. (Pause) Is that right?\u201d
Client: \u201cYup.\u201d (sighing)
Coach: What would you like to make happen here?
Client: \u00ab\u00a0I\u2019d like to have an informal chat with my boss to talk about better ways to react to my work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n3-2-1 Formula for Skeptics: Guiding Clients from Doubt to Action<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Begin by acknowledging their concerns using their own words, that reflect what they want to avoid. This validates their feelings and shows that you understand their struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Transition to the next step by using phrases such as,
\u00ab\u00a0That\u2019s why…\u00a0\u00bb,
\u00ab\u00a0Therefore,
I suggest…\u00a0\u00bb, or
\u00ab\u00a0Which means it might be helpful to…\u00a0\u00bb.
This helps them see a path forward from their current situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This moves the conversation toward goal-setting and future possibilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Conclude by circling back to one of their original concerns, reinforcing that achieving their goals will help them avoid what they don\u2019t want. This completes the loop, subtly reassuring them while keeping the conversation outcome oriented.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2 Toward
1 Away From<\/p>\n\n\n\nContext Painting: Creating Resourceful States for Decision-Making<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
This sets the stage and gives you insight into their priorities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Use statements about where, when, and with whom they are taking action. This \u201cpaints\u201d their context, helping them access more information about the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This keeps the conversation flowing naturally and ensures that your client remains comfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Repeat back their last sentence or phrase, to help them feel understood and keep the dialogue moving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Coach: \u00ab\u00a0What is your goal?\u00a0\u00bb
Client: \u00ab\u00a0I want to get better at understanding my clients\u2019 needs more quickly.\u00a0\u00bb
Coach: \u00ab\u00a0You want to get better at understanding your clients’ needs more quickly, \u2026 especially when you are sitting down with them in your office?\u00a0\u00bb (guessing the context)
Client: \u00ab\u00a0Actually, more when I\u2019m on the phone with them for a first in-depth conversation.\u00a0\u00bb
Coach: \u00ab\u00a0So, you\u2019re on the phone with them in a first in-depth conversation, and you\u2019re asking them questions?\u00a0\u00bb
Client: \u00ab\u00a0Yes, but I realize now that I want to avoid making it feel like an interrogation. I\u2019d rather make them feel comfortable enough so they\u2019ll talk, so I can figure out what\u2019s happening and if I\u2019m the right person to help them.\u00a0\u00bb
Coach: \u201cYou\u2019re on the phone, in a first in-depth conversation, making them feel comfortable enough so they\u2019ll talk, so you can figure out if you\u2019re the right person to help them?\u201d
Client: \u201cThat\u2019s right. I think I could do this. One question about what\u2019s going on, and I don\u2019t need to speak much at all, just let them know I\u2019m listening for how the problem is happening and what they want instead. I\u2019ll be able to know fairly quickly if I can be of help to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\nAuthor<\/h3>\n\n\n\n